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I want to be loved

and I want to love someone as much as they love me.

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Tonight a wave of loneliness has come over me.

A sense of helplessness.

A sense of sadness.

I need a drink.

I need a friend.

I need a hug.

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Finally ordered Direct TV, and its being installed next Sunday. Finally no more crappy local TV using rabbit ears.
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I'm not going to stop being me for anyone. If they don't like it then that's their loss.

This is meant on a happy note and not a sad one... just so you know.

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I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving full of good food and family.

So, last night, oh last night was full of fun, randomness and drunkenness.

I was going to meet up with Christina last night but those plans fell through, but I made the best of the situation by meeting up with Steven at Silverton Cafe for a bit. Saw a couple of my other cousins and hung out for about 30-45 min and didn't have a there but better things were to come. After that Steven, Adam and I met back up at my place and we went down to Hoffbrau House. We got there at about midnight, grabbed a beer and not long after that a waitress came to our table and said that it was last call (yeah 12:30 is when they closed wtf?) so we got a round of Jager shots and headed over to Bar Louie.

At Bar Louie the drinking really commenced. Through some serious randomness we met a group of 4 people and basically hung out and talked to them the rest of the night out on the terrace. At last call one of the guys bought us all a round of shots. I wound up taking 2 because Stevens other friend had to drive home, at that time i was trashed.

Once we got back to my place Adam decided it was time to throw up... in the parking lot which even right now, its still there lol. We got Adam a spot on the couch and Steven and I had another beer (which neither of us finished because well.... we were too drunk. By the time I got to bed it was around 4am and I slept in until 11:30. Which is way too late for me to sleep but it was very very nice.

The rest of today I nursed a hangover then went home for Turkey Day. Steven and my Uncle Randy (his dad) brought their mom over from the nursing home which was totally awesome for her and everyone else. I really do think she had a good time which I think she needed very very badly.

All in all, it was a good night last night and a pretty good day today.
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So bored I did some cleaning, I cleaned things that were already cleaned, vacuumed parts of the floor that I've never seen before.... yes I bored.
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So I'm sitting here (after scrubbing my shower and toilet to death) and I figured I might as well put this down because I have been thinking about it a lot lately.

I thank god for my situation in life. I was raised by a great family, a family full of love, trust and respect. For those of you who don't already know, I am adopted, which really isn't a big deal to me because of I had such a great support system growing up. I know a lot of people that have been adopted were raised by less than stellar families, but I wasn't. In turn I have grown up knowing what true love is, and what kind of values I look for in people. I know I have had my less than stellar moments, but that all apart of being human, but I feel that I have seen these faults and have to great extent corrected them.

Also, I have surrounded myself with great friends who share the same values that I do. I love my friends, both old and new, and to be very honest, I would take a bullet for any one of them because they mean that much to me. I know that some of them I have lost touch with, that's because we are becoming grown ups and are now doing grown up things like getting married, having a careers. Two of my best friends in this world I barely talk to because yes, one is married and one is getting married and both have moved out of the greater Cincinnati area. I'm not mad at them, I don't resent them, but I am happy for them, they have made a life, a career, and in the future a family.

I don't feel like I'm alone, though I do spend a lot of time alone because I do live alone and in the past I didn't get out to much. Things have changed though, I am getting out more, I am meeting new people and making new friendships that I hope will last a lifetime. I do get lonely at times, I do get depressed sometimes, but that's only natural... but that's sometimes and thankfully it's not an all day or common occurrence. Anyone that knows me that family always comes first, then friends, then everything else. But with that said, I see my friends as family, so really, family and friends come first.

Thank you to everyone that has blessed me with their presence in my life. Both people that are still here and those who have passed on. I love you, and thank you from the bottom of my heart, and thank you for making me the person I am today.

I love my family, I love my friends, I love my life.
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Yeah, its Friday, I'm home from work, I have to work tomorrow morning, but, I'm still bored as all hell.
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Finally beat Zelda: Windwaker last night, what a great game that I stopped playing for the longest time.
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ignore previous post, since becoming more awake.... i feel awesome! honest.
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